Rejection: should we avoid it?

This is a difficult question to answer. Should we avoid rejection? If we avoid it surely that means we are achieving success and can aim higher instead of going back to square one. Also rejection can be quite painful to say the least, whether its from a job interview or a friendship/relationship the pain is all so real and impressionable. This is why many people do all they can to avoid this rejection and failure so that they don't feel the hurt and devastation caused from this simple action.

There are so many storylines in films and books about peoples fear of rejection and loneliness and how that affects their lives and the people around them. An example of this is the film, 'Friends with Benefits'. In this example two friends are so sick of the disappointment that their past relationships have brought to them and so they become 'friends with benefits' to avoid the heartache and rejection of relationships, but feel fulfilled through each others intimate company. However, as expected they fall for each other in their attempts to avoid the rejection of failed relationships.

These cliché storylines emphasise the need to stop this avoidance and face rejection with all its faults in order to unleash its beauty. Despite the predictable outcomes it is something many people struggle with. Its a big knock when you are told that you are not the right person for a job or as someones life partner. It's heart-wrenching and humiliating, then again,  its human nature to want to avoid what we deem as bad for us. Its how evolution created us as beings, by avoiding characteristics that are weaknesses and led to that species going extinct.

This is someone I'm guilty of. I avoid conversations that are difficult or bring up something that I am not proud of or simple cannot talk about without getting upset. I put up a front and bottle up in order to avoid the feeling of rejection or failure which leads me to the phrase I've used a lot in my life. Fake it till you make it. If you fake not being phased by something and just think about the time you succeeded once and make it your mission to succeed next time, you quite often do end up succeeding. The memory of the hurt forces me many times to put in my absolute best which pushes me to get the result I intend on getting. Most of the time...

Other times its not good to bottle up and can cause more panic than perseverance. An example is my A-Level results which I refused to even look at and just tried to focus on my next set of exams and that in the end panicked me so much I did even worse.

In Britain, we often have a 'stiff upper lip' culture where we don't talk about the difficult things and this idea needs to vanish and changed to an open mouth culture where we talk and express our feelings instead of bottling things up which can lead to serious mental illnesses including depression. So if like myself, you are guilty of having a 'stiff upper lip' then open your mouth and speak out. It leads to a better outcome once out in the open.