Recently I have been applying for a couple of apprenticeships in the UK and looking into some professions as back up plans in case my first choice of apprenticeships requires different qualifications to what one has achieved. This to me is very grown up and adult like (excuse the bad english) and it has all of a sudden hit me that I am now an adult who has to make adult decisions like career choices and where I am going to live etc. This is very scary.
Many people say to me, 'oh you are so mature for your age, you should find the transition into becoming a full blown adult very normal and smooth due to your maturity'. That is all bull shit may I add. I am very mature when it comes to certain aspects of my life such as my job and my social life,(which currently doesn't exist as a book and cup of tea/glass of wine is my vision of a good night.) But I am also only 18 and my 19th birthday is in 3 weeks or so and that is terrifying to me. I don't want to grow older, I don't want these responsibilities and to make changes to my life. To me, getting older is just another sign of how quickly life can change.
I took this gap year to find myself and do all I can to have fun before I make these changes to my life, somehow I think by delaying the choices I have to make, I have made it much more difficult to make the changes I need to make. However, I am glad I took this gap year so that I can travel and 'act my age' in terms of going out with friends and seeing sights such as Liverpool, London, Rome, Paris, Amsterdam etc. This is all great what I am doing, but nevertheless I will have to make my decision soon. Being an adult isn't always as fun as being a young and carefree teenager.
Those are just some thoughts that have been rattling in my brain the past couple of weeks.
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