Recently I have been applying for a couple of apprenticeships in the UK and looking into some professions as back up plans in case my first choice of apprenticeships requires different qualifications to what one has achieved. This to me is very grown up and adult like (excuse the bad english) and it has all of a sudden hit me that I am now an adult who has to make adult decisions like career choices and where I am going to live etc. This is very scary.
Many people say to me, 'oh you are so mature for your age, you should find the transition into becoming a full blown adult very normal and smooth due to your maturity'. That is all bull shit may I add. I am very mature when it comes to certain aspects of my life such as my job and my social life,(which currently doesn't exist as a book and cup of tea/glass of wine is my vision of a good night.) But I am also only 18 and my 19th birthday is in 3 weeks or so and that is terrifying to me. I don't want to grow older, I don't want these responsibilities and to make changes to my life. To me, getting older is just another sign of how quickly life can change.
I took this gap year to find myself and do all I can to have fun before I make these changes to my life, somehow I think by delaying the choices I have to make, I have made it much more difficult to make the changes I need to make. However, I am glad I took this gap year so that I can travel and 'act my age' in terms of going out with friends and seeing sights such as Liverpool, London, Rome, Paris, Amsterdam etc. This is all great what I am doing, but nevertheless I will have to make my decision soon. Being an adult isn't always as fun as being a young and carefree teenager.
Those are just some thoughts that have been rattling in my brain the past couple of weeks.
Wednesday, 30 March 2016
Wednesday, 2 March 2016
Rejection: should we avoid it?
This is a difficult question to answer. Should we avoid rejection? If we avoid it surely that means we are achieving success and can aim higher instead of going back to square one. Also rejection can be quite painful to say the least, whether its from a job interview or a friendship/relationship the pain is all so real and impressionable. This is why many people do all they can to avoid this rejection and failure so that they don't feel the hurt and devastation caused from this simple action.
There are so many storylines in films and books about peoples fear of rejection and loneliness and how that affects their lives and the people around them. An example of this is the film, 'Friends with Benefits'. In this example two friends are so sick of the disappointment that their past relationships have brought to them and so they become 'friends with benefits' to avoid the heartache and rejection of relationships, but feel fulfilled through each others intimate company. However, as expected they fall for each other in their attempts to avoid the rejection of failed relationships.
These cliché storylines emphasise the need to stop this avoidance and face rejection with all its faults in order to unleash its beauty. Despite the predictable outcomes it is something many people struggle with. Its a big knock when you are told that you are not the right person for a job or as someones life partner. It's heart-wrenching and humiliating, then again, its human nature to want to avoid what we deem as bad for us. Its how evolution created us as beings, by avoiding characteristics that are weaknesses and led to that species going extinct.
This is someone I'm guilty of. I avoid conversations that are difficult or bring up something that I am not proud of or simple cannot talk about without getting upset. I put up a front and bottle up in order to avoid the feeling of rejection or failure which leads me to the phrase I've used a lot in my life. Fake it till you make it. If you fake not being phased by something and just think about the time you succeeded once and make it your mission to succeed next time, you quite often do end up succeeding. The memory of the hurt forces me many times to put in my absolute best which pushes me to get the result I intend on getting. Most of the time...
Other times its not good to bottle up and can cause more panic than perseverance. An example is my A-Level results which I refused to even look at and just tried to focus on my next set of exams and that in the end panicked me so much I did even worse.
In Britain, we often have a 'stiff upper lip' culture where we don't talk about the difficult things and this idea needs to vanish and changed to an open mouth culture where we talk and express our feelings instead of bottling things up which can lead to serious mental illnesses including depression. So if like myself, you are guilty of having a 'stiff upper lip' then open your mouth and speak out. It leads to a better outcome once out in the open.
There are so many storylines in films and books about peoples fear of rejection and loneliness and how that affects their lives and the people around them. An example of this is the film, 'Friends with Benefits'. In this example two friends are so sick of the disappointment that their past relationships have brought to them and so they become 'friends with benefits' to avoid the heartache and rejection of relationships, but feel fulfilled through each others intimate company. However, as expected they fall for each other in their attempts to avoid the rejection of failed relationships.
These cliché storylines emphasise the need to stop this avoidance and face rejection with all its faults in order to unleash its beauty. Despite the predictable outcomes it is something many people struggle with. Its a big knock when you are told that you are not the right person for a job or as someones life partner. It's heart-wrenching and humiliating, then again, its human nature to want to avoid what we deem as bad for us. Its how evolution created us as beings, by avoiding characteristics that are weaknesses and led to that species going extinct.
This is someone I'm guilty of. I avoid conversations that are difficult or bring up something that I am not proud of or simple cannot talk about without getting upset. I put up a front and bottle up in order to avoid the feeling of rejection or failure which leads me to the phrase I've used a lot in my life. Fake it till you make it. If you fake not being phased by something and just think about the time you succeeded once and make it your mission to succeed next time, you quite often do end up succeeding. The memory of the hurt forces me many times to put in my absolute best which pushes me to get the result I intend on getting. Most of the time...
Other times its not good to bottle up and can cause more panic than perseverance. An example is my A-Level results which I refused to even look at and just tried to focus on my next set of exams and that in the end panicked me so much I did even worse.
In Britain, we often have a 'stiff upper lip' culture where we don't talk about the difficult things and this idea needs to vanish and changed to an open mouth culture where we talk and express our feelings instead of bottling things up which can lead to serious mental illnesses including depression. So if like myself, you are guilty of having a 'stiff upper lip' then open your mouth and speak out. It leads to a better outcome once out in the open.
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