'Puppy Love'

The term "puppy love" is usually used to define young people in love and when I say young people I mean anyone under the age of 18 really. But the saying "puppy love" is so patronizing to young people don't you think? It's almost saying that because you are a young person, you cannot experience a "proper" form of love until you are an adult. This is probably because most people under the age of 18 are very immature.

Personally I am still immature even though I am a month from turning 18 and becoming a supposedly "adult" but I have been with my boyfriend since I was 16/17, so is it still puppy love once we both become adults? Or does it become this magical thing of "real love" which in itself I think is a stupid phrase.

I fell in love at the age of 17 and I do not think that the love I share with my boyfriend is "puppy love" in the sense that we both agree this is a serious relationship and we both are very happy together. But I remember for the first 6 months of my relationship everyone told me it was "puppy love" in the sense that it will fade out eventually.

I think the term "puppy love" shouldn't be used to generalize all young couples because every relationship is different. I know many couples who have thought to be so in love for the first month but then the relationship sizzle out and that is what I would call "puppy love", something short lived but full of emotions.

This can apply to all age groups too, even someone in their 30s who has a "whirl-wind summer romance" could call that "puppy love" in the sense that it was short lived but nevertheless all about the love of the other person.

The fact that once you are an adult these kind of flings are given more grown up names shows how separate we are in society from children to the extent that we have different names for near enough the same experiences to an extent we all go through whether it is a teenager discovering love for the first time or a 25 year old on holiday and meets the person they believe to be "the one" which itself is an immature concept to believe we are made for one person to love unconditionally.

I love more than one person unconditionally. I love my whole family, friends, boyfriend, hobbies and even fictional characters unconditionally and that is not "one person". Many people believe they find the "one" person they love for it to turn a nasty corner and that breaks my heart. I believe people should stop searching for the "one" person and just have fun in life and if someone comes along who you have more than a "puppy love" with then great! See where it goes! but don't waste time finding something which may cause you more pain in the long run.

Memories

We make memories every second we are alive, something is always happening whether it is reading a book, talking to someone, waking up, falling asleep, listening to music, walking somewhere, sat doing something anything we do can become a memory. Yet there are only specific memories which we remember better than others. For example the memory of my boyfriend asking me to be his girlfriend 10 months ago is a lot stronger than the memory of what I did yesterday while at college.

Some memories stand out more than others and these are the memories which shape our experiences and fears. If we remember that something made us fearful, we don't like that memory and are scared of it happening again which shapes on how you conduct yourself in certain situations where that can occur again. Me personally, I have memories which I love to think about and others which I would rather throw away into a metaphorical ocean on nothingness, but I know that cannot happen. I'm stuck with it.

In a way our memories shape what we know about the world. If we remember not to do something because our society deems it to be unacceptable then I believe we would tend to avoid whatever it was that we think society would not like. I remember growing up like any other kid I wanted to fit in and if anyone told me not to do something, that would be put into my memory to not do it again. Even so I would always end up doing something else silly which wasn't "socially acceptable" to everyone around me.

My question to people reading this is however, who created the term socially acceptable and who decides what is acceptable or not? Over time I know from my A-level studies some actions which have previously not been "socially acceptable" are now the norm and as the term goes 'everyone is doing it'. I think this is true in lots of cases such as binge drinking which I know from experience is something very popular among the youth of our generation and before. Even though binge drinking really isn't good for us, why are university students always in the lime light for  doing this?

Don't get me wrong I drink and get drunk but I don't do it a lot of the time I only go to parties a couple times of the year because I would personally like to spend my time making memories else where I am sober and can remember what has gone by.

Memories are something we should treasure, even the bad memories we have because one day we may not remember a thing. That thought is scary to us all.

Knowing everything but nothing

I've always thought that as you get older, you start to understand the world and everything around you much better than you do as a child because as a child, the world is a mysterious yet wonderful place to be. I use to be excited about getting older and becoming an adult but right now, it is the most scariest thing in my life, becoming an adult. 

I've got just over  a month till i'm 18 and to be honest, I am not ready. I know a lot, but at the same time I know absolutely nothing. Hence the title of my blog being "knowing everything but nothing" which to be honest, I think is the same thing a lot of people in the 16-18 bracket age are thinking. We know everything that we need to do in order to succeed (get good grades at GCSE and A-Levels, get a degree or get a job, get married have children etc.) but at the same time, we know absolutely nothing about what we want to do with our lives and whether we want to go along the linear route of going to uni getting a job etc.

I am taking a gap year before I do anything life changing to figure out what I want to do with my life. This decision was taken after receiving my AS results (to anyone who isn't familiar with the UK education system this is what a junior year at high school is) and realizing that I needed to change my outlook when it came to exams and what I wanted to do when it came to finishing my exams etc. 

Decision like going to University or doing an apprenticeship is really big and having to make that decision at 16/17 years old to me is really daunting. To anyone who knows what they are going to do and what they need to do this is great and simple for them, however I tend to differ between what subject and job I want to do when I am in my 20s and therefore need more time to mature and realize what I want to do. 

I personally think there is too much pressure on teenagers to make big decisions at an age where none of us are mature enough to decide what job we are going to stick with for the rest of our lives. When talking to my friends at my Sixth Form College about this a lot of them agree with me that there is too much emphasis on going to University and going this route in life, instead of looking at what we really want to do and learning about ourselves. 

But there isn't much I alone can do on this situation however and there is the simple fact that I need to accept that this is the case. 

Nevertheless I can do with my life what I can and I think this needs to be spread across schools that University isn't the only way and that you can go at any point in your life if you really want to go. 

I hope that anyone reading this is happy with there life decisions but just so that you know, if you are not happy it is never too late to change your career. When I got my AS results and I thought my life was over because they were not what I was expecting my lovely father told me and I will always remember this "it is okay to fail as long as you learn how to pass next time" and this is so true. Just learn how to correct your bad decisions (which to be honest are never bad decisions because they make you who you are) and make yourself the happiest person you can be. 

Love yourself and don't worry if you don't know everything, not many of us knowing everything too.